So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
