I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
