dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
