i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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