His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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