Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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