My balls are so social today.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize