The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
it's like iHOP with fire
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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