Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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