I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
