he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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