I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
is wine microwaveable?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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