I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
