Umm I'm too high to move.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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