That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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