i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
