listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
