WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
