No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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