that's an acceptable place to lick
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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