My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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