D3 body, D1 cock
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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