Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
