if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize