yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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