Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
