So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
