Are we in a gay sports bar?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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