I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
