so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
