Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
