My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
