she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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