Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize