It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
