I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
