I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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