this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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