This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
