i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
