I cannot find my penis.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
