Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize