I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
