honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize