5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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