Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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