Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
