you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize