O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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