He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
