Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
