It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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