I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
