Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
