so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
