If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize