Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
