She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
