Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
