Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
