my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
