ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
