The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
