I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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