well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
