In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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