people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
