He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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