Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
