just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
