is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
