yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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